Someone left a banana on the seat.

Feeding your toddler a jumbo sized Pixie Stix on public transportation is a GREAT IDEA. What could go wrong?

Both sets of pinkies and ring fingers casted, splinted, taped: He clutches a skateboard in one lobster claw. Defiant he will ride…after this mouth-open nap.

Dayplanner shoved partway down the back of his pants: storage, lumbar support, plumber’s crack protection.

“Omigod, I have a really funny antidote to tell you!”

He holds a fresh rosemary sprig in his smile like a smoke.

LA Subway Realness 10/14/11, 6:42pm

Dude sprawled on his back all over a bench TRIPPING out on the ceiling: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [sigh] it’s AMAZING…[singing] Amaaaaaaaaazing graaaaaaace…ahhhhhhh.”

I PUT MY D*CK IN WHATEVER I WANT TO - full-volume rap, earbuds in, yelling it - THAT’S THE TRUTH, RUTH, then a mouthful of expletives connected by a few prepositions. At the next stop he exits the train…then reboards through the door at the other end of the car, starts again: I PUT MY D*CK IN WHATEVER I WANT TO, etc.

“My head is in KNOTS! MY HEAD IS IN KNOTS!” He lifts his shirt to pull something invisible from his chest.